


Where My Demons Hide

by Yadirocks



Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-17 22:14:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3545669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yadirocks/pseuds/Yadirocks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been 12 years since Yadier came into the league. But as the Cardinals enter the postseason, there's another anniversary that isn't so cheerful.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where My Demons Hide

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Demons by Imagine Dragons.

He should've been happy. They were in the postseason for another year. Their chances of winning the World Series for the third time in his career were high. Yadier wasn't happy, though. 

He looked down at the golden glove clinging to the gold chain around his neck. His father had given it to him. Yadier let his fingers brush over the palm of the glove. Then, he closed his fist around it, closing his eyes. 

A hand was suddenly on his shoulder, and he quickly opened his eyes, dropping the glove from his fist and glancing up at Adam Wainwright. 

"I was just um..."

Adam laughed. "You don't have to hide anything from me, Yadi. I know you're nervous, everyone is."

Yadier sighed in relief. "Yeah, I was nervous."

Adam pointed to the scoreboard. "But hey, we're winning. Maybe we can find a new bar in LA after the game, just to try something new."

Yadier was okay with that. He wanted to get drunk, to drink away his pain. 

Adam sat down on the bench next to him. "Is something else bothering you? You're quiet."

Yadier wanted to tell him. He wanted to get it out. His brain was pulling him one way, while his heart pulled him another. Adam didn't notice the tug-of-war game going on. You should tell him, his heart said, he's your best friend. You shouldn't tell him, his brain said, you're better off getting over it. 

Yadier wanted so desperately to just tell someone, anyone. He gathered his courage. He swallowed his pride. He spoke. 

"No."

\------------------------------

The bar was more fancy than the others. The music was annoying and the assortment of drinks made his head spin. He wanted to drink away his pain, but there were so many drinks to choose from. Finally, he chose a Budweiser, since it was the only thing he could pronounce besides Bud Light.

He sipped the Budweiser, half-heartedly listening to Matt Holliday talk about his home run that night. Adam sat down next to Yadier, holding some sort of Margarita in his hand. "Do you want to have a drinking contest?"

Yadier shook his head. He wanted to get drunk, but not too fast so it wouldn't hurt in the morning. Adam frowned. "You always say yes to a drinking contest, though. Are you alright?"

Yadier didn't answer, just acted like he was too busy drinking his beer. 

Slowly, everyone got drunk. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't get his mind off of that night. 

Before he could stop himself, he began to remember that night. 

It had been a sunny day in Bayamon, Puerto Rico. His dad was at the baseball fields, preparing for the second game of a doubleheader. Yadier had been at home when his cousin had called. "Your dad is hurt, you need to come to the hospital!"

Yadier had nearly crashed into seven cars trying to get to the hospital. Wanda was with him, and she was trying to be optimistic, but it wasn't helping him. 

"He probably just fell," she said. Yadier knew that it was bad the moment he had walked into the room. 

The doctors tried to revive his father three times, but they gave up. "No! Keep trying! You can't let him die!"

It was too late. He remembered punching the wall, kicking over a chair. Someone had led him out of the room, but now that he looked back on it, he wasn't sure who it was. The next thing he remembered was Wanda hugging him. 

The air in the bar suddenly seemed like it was going to suffocate him. He quickly ran outside into the open air, trying to get the air back into his lungs. 

A hand was on his shoulder. "That's what Budweiser will do to you, Yadi. Should've gotten Bud Light," Adam said. 

The catcher stayed knelt down on the sidewalk, so Adam knelt down next to him. Now both of them were sitting in the middle of the sidewalk. No one walked by. After all, it was past midnight. 

"I have a feeling it wasn't just the beer that nearly gave you a heart attack back in there," Adam said. 

Yadier glanced at him. "Maybe you're wrong."

Adam rubbed the scuffs off of his shoe. "Could be. I know something is bothering you, though. You haven't acted like yourself at all today."

Yadier scoffed. "Yes I have."

Adam held up his hands with a chuckle. "Don't get mad at me. I just want you to know that if you want to talk, I'm all ears."

Yadier couldn't even meet Adam's eyes. The pitcher flicked his arm, making Yadier look at him. "C'mon. I know just what you need."

\---------------------------------------------

"Hot chocolate?" Yadier asked, taking the mug from Adam. The pitcher plopped down next to him on the couch. "What's wrong with hot chocolate?"

Yadier shrugged. "Well, it's hot enough in LA without hot chocolate."

Adam smirked. "Maybe that's why Puig is so hot-headed."

Yadier laughed. Adam raised his eyebrows. "A laugh? That's the first time you've done that all day."

Yadier's smiled faded, and he turned his gaze back to the mug. Adam leaned back. "So what's on your mind? Bad hit? Frustration at the plate? Something personal?"

Yadier nodded at the last one. Adam put a hand on his shoulder. "You don't have to talk about it if it makes you uncomfortable."

Yadier wanted to talk about it so, so desperately. A part of him wanted to do it just to get it over with, while another wanted to do it so that his mind would be at ease. He took a deep breath. 

"Seven years ago today, my father died."

It was said so quietly that Yadier thought that Adam didn't hear it when he didn't respond immediately. Then, Adam say up. "Is he the one who gave you that necklace?"

Yadier nodded, bringing his fingers up to touch the small glove. "His death was unexpected. I would've talked about it with someone right then and there if I could've. But Bengie was trying to sort out his own sadness, and José was taking care of our mother. Wanda tried to be understanding, but the more I think about it, the worse it gets."

Adam sipped his mug. "Then don't think about it."

Yadier laughed, this time bitterly. "I wish it was that easy."

Adam nodded for him to continue. "I was the only one in Puerto Rico when it happened. I should've been there when it happened. I should've helped, maybe we could've saved him. I should've been a better son."

Tears filled his eyes, so he closed them. Adam was silent. Yadier's hands were shaking, sloshing his drink everywhere. Adam gently took the mug from his hands and set it on the table. 

Then, he pinned Yadier's shoulders back to the couch, making Yadier open his eyes and meet Adam's in surprise. Adam didn't move his eyes away as he said, "None of what happened was your fault, Yadi. If you think it was, then you need to stop thinking that. How your father died and why was nothing you could've stopped. I didn't know your father, so I don't know the type of man he was, but I'm sure that even if it was your fault, he would never hate you for what happened."

Yadier sniffed, closing his eyes. "Okay?" Adam asked gently. Yadier nodded. "I just miss him so much."

A tear fell down his cheek. Adam brushed it away, pulling Yadier into a hug. "Missing him isn't something you should be ashamed of, Yadi. I'm sure he's very, very proud of you, Yadier."

Yadier felt a huge weight lift off his shoulders, and he closed his eyes. Adam patted his back and pulled away. "You look exhausted. You just need a good night's sleep."

Yadier nodded in agreement, letting Adam lead him to a spare bedroom in his hotel room. He sprawled out on the bed, his mind already drifting as his head hit the pillow. He heard Adam chuckle, and blankets were pulled over his shoulders. Adam whispered, "Sweet dreams."

Yadier smiled. For once, maybe they would be.


End file.
